The 5 Ultimate Self-Destruction Habits Of Humankind

The 5 Ultimate Self-Destruction Habits Of Humankind

That moment when you wake up!

You thought it means to wake up from sleep, didn’t you? 

Well, it doesn’t!

I’m talking about a different level of waking up… the moment you open our eyes and see yourself, for the first time. 

We are usually the one person who is standing between us and our dreams, and here is how we do it… 

The 5 ultimate self- destruction habits of humankind:

1-  Oblivion, 

Not asking yourself the most important questions in life: 

Who am I? Why am I here? And what do I stand for? 

These three questions, if answered, will change your life. Have you ever started a relationship with someone before you actually got to know them, I hope not! 

The exact same thing happens here, you can’t start building a relationship with yourself if you don’t really know who you are, what your goals are in life and what are the main values you live by. 

2- Self- doubt

That is one creepy monster! You don’t feel it’s coming and then suddenly you see it in front of you and get too scared to even move. 

Self doubt is paralyzing, it will forever keep you in your place because you don’t believe in yourself enough to take any step. 

It’s that voice inside your head that tells you: you are not ready, you don’t have it in you, and maybe it’s not for you. 

So, keep an eye out for this monster and have enough faith in yourself that when you see it you have the courage to say no I do have it in me and I will do it.

3- Comfort Zone

This is more like the friend you don’t really want to have. The friend that tells you it’s okay to just go out and party every night when you’re twenty-nine, just because you used to do that when you were eighteen and life was going perfectly fine. 

But life changes, and you want to change with it. The higher the wave, the better your surfing skills ought to be. 

So step out of your comfort zone, do things that scare you sometimes, raise your own bar, learn and new skill, watch yourself grow and cheer on. 

4- Distraction

We live in a time where peace and quiet is a luxury. It’s like you’re trying to make a conversation with someone in the middle of a crowd. Will you be able to listen to them? Of course not!

That is where we are now, we are always trying to get our own attention, but we can’t even listen to ourselves anymore. There is just so much noise around us; the noise of a busy life, of a demanding job, of our thoughts about our busy life and our demanding job.

Our attention span is becoming shorter and shorter because we’re getting used to what’s quick and easy.

But the question is, how will we ever know who we are if we’re never really there with ourselves anymore.

5- Just Being Mean

That is when you choose to be mean to yourself, to be harsh on yourself and to beat yourself up. 

Why didn’t I do well in that meeting? I look too fat! I’m too thin! I wish had long hair! My hair looked better short! I’m never going to make it! Who do I think I am! 

I can literally go on forever…

How will your car be if you kept treating it like crap? It will break down! And probably way sooner than expected. 

We are exactly the same, we will break down at a certain point if we keep mistreating ourselves. 

Self love is compassion, it’s support, it’s looking at yourself and saying thank you! You did your best today and that was awesome.

It’s patting yourself on the back after a long day, it’s saying I love you for who you are and for what I want you to be. 

Self love is being full of yourself enough to be able to give, to share and to attract what you want in your life and not what you need. 

“No one is you, and that is your superpower

Peace & Love,

Sara

 

 

 

My Top Tips To Survive The First Five

My Top Tips To Survive The First Five

It all started when I was Twenty-one years old, on a mountaintop in Jordan, after a three-hour conversation on a bench under the sun. I thought to myself:” he is really something else!”

The chemistry was insane, our hearts met in a place that was only ours.

And then, seven months later we were engaged, and a year after we tied the knot. Oh wait, did I mention that it was all long distance, with the both of us living in separate in countries stealing three days a month to be with each other. Was that easy? HELL NO!

But we made it happen because that is what you do when you’re in love, you make things happen.

And now, five years later we are still making it happen.

Today is our anniversary and my gift to you on this day is my top tips on how to survive the first five.

1-      Don’t forget the important things

Keep reminding yourself of all the reasons why you fell in love in the first place. What you love about your partner and what was it that made your heart jump and your stomach tickle.

By doing this you will re-live those moments as if they’re happening right now, it will be as if you are meeting each other for the first time over and over. HOW COOL IS THAT!

2-      Look at each other through a love lens

Keep a fresh eye to notice the things that you simply adore in your partner. The way they helped an elderly woman on a staircase in Istanbul (true story by the way), the way they look for you as soon as they get home (again, true), and the way they smile when they first wake up in the morning (also true).

And then, tell them that. Just pick a random moment in your day, look them in the eye, and ask: “Do you know what I love about you?”

3-      Focus on the small things

People fall into the mistake of thinking that the moment we get married is the moment we stop putting effort. Because why put effort if we already have them, right?!

Well, actually it’s not. It’s the effort we put after we get married that counts. The small things we pay attention to, the romantic date nights, the wild trips, an unexpected gift, a walk on the beach together or cooking their favorite meal.

So, pick a day in each week and ask your partner: “what do you feel like doing tonight?” and then do that full heartedly.

4-      Have an open line of communication

This might be the most sacred time in our relationship, the time we discuss literally everything about our life. It’s not about our jobs or about our house, it about us. Where we are now in our life together and where do we want to go. Our future plans together, our passions and dreams. The vision we have for a perfect life and our retirement plan.

Communication is the superhero of relationships, it’s the main force that can heal anything and anyone.

So, keep that line of connection open at all times, and hey, there is no such thing as something that is not worth communicating.

 5-      Lift each other up

Listen to your partner’s dreams and passions, support them in following their bliss and never ever underestimate their ideas.

Be each other’s support system and always hold a space of love for your partner to go wild with their thoughts. Basically, be their high and never their low.

 6-      Be different, Be you

Marriage is not about dependency, marriage is about individuality. It’s about two happily independent souls coming together in something that is so holy.

To make a marriage work, be you, never compromise on that and never want your partner to compromise on the same. Bring your true selves to each other every day, be friends and lovers and create a beautiful life that is uniquely you.

These are my tips for you to not only survive the first five but to survive a lifetime of passion, affection, wildness, joy, and love.

“Where there is love there is life.”

– Mahatma Gandhi

 

Peace & Love,

Sara

 

 

The One Friend You Never Knew You Had

The One Friend You Never Knew You Had

This friend is a good listener, a good advise and caregiver, a fun friend who is always there for you, a friend that truly loves you for who you are. This friend is unlike any friend you ever had, doesn’t mind spending all day and every day with you, call you up on your bullshit and keep things real at all times.

This friend is the friend of a lifetime, the friend who would never give up on you, the friend that you will never lose unless you choose to lose first.

This friend is your best friend and your worst enemy, this friend can help bring you up or simply destroy you.

Love this friend in order to receive love back, have faith and trust in this friend and you will never be betrayed or disappointed.

Provide this friend with attention and never take this friend for granted. This friend is who you are and who you want to become. This friend is your values, what you stand up for and what you believe in.

This friend is YOU, yes you and no one else but you.

 

“You yourself as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve love and affection.”

-Mahatma Gandhi

Peace & Love,

Sara

Why you should get introduced to your partner over and over again?

Why you should get introduced to your partner over and over again?

Humans are continuously evolving, growing and changing. Their minds today are nothing like they were ten years ago, what they see as possible now was a complete impossibility, or even madness at some point.

People were killed for practicing witchcraft, for simply showing an interest in science and scientific experiments!

We are not the same as we were before, and will never be the same as we are now.

So why do we, after we get married, assume that what used to please our partner will continue to do so for decades? or that the lifestyle we led in our first or second year of marriage shall continue for decades? or that the mind of our partner or their interests are and will always be the same?

We stop getting to know each other and, in my opinion, this is the death recipe for any relationship.

Because what happens is, along any marriage, both partners will continue to grow, grow new interests, develop new hobbies, adopt new thinking patterns or beliefs, or even change certain characteristics or lifestyle habits.

Imagine living in your house and using only one room while the rest of the house is being renovated, you will one day leave that room and not recognize your own house! it will look different, smell different and feel different.

This is what we usually do in our relationships, we stay stuck in the same routines, same conversations, putting the same amount of effort over and over again and then one day we wake up and not recognize our partners, or even recognize who we are in this relationship. We start to feel emotional distance, coldness and lack of interest and enthusiasm.

What happened is you simply grew apart, you are not to blame, he is not to blame, you are both to be blamed… why? because it takes two to tango.

To avoid that communicate, communicate, communicate, because by sharing your thoughts, visions, interests and feelings deeply and openly with your partner, you will be more understanding of where you both are now in your lives.

Make sure you involve each other enough to always feel that you are part of one larger picture of a happy life that you are both working towards building together.

Always treat each other as priority, make sure your needs are well taken care of as well as giving the utmost care, love and attention to your partner. Go out on date nights together, workout together or start a hobby together.

This one might sound a bit contradicting, but it’s also important to give each other enough space to succeed in your own thing, this will elevate your mental state as well as your partner’s mental state and make you miss each other and make spending time together something you look forward to as your reward.

Always remember that it’s never about the huge things, it’s about the small things that build the bigger picture.

“A successful marriage is falling in love over and over again, with the same person”

– Mignon McLaughlin

 

Peace & Love,

Sara Abiqwa

6 Secrets To A Happy Marriage

6 Secrets To A Happy Marriage

What makes a good relationship a great relationship?

I’ve been married now for four years, known my now husband for a total of seven years, and let me tell you it was one hell of a ride.

We spent the first three years of our relationship living in different countries, having the chance to see each other once a month or twice if we were lucky!

It was crazy, it was fun, it was passionate and most importantly it was strong and powerful enough for us to make it through.

Let me share with you my 6 secrets to a happy marriage:

1- Be friends

Do you know how you can sit with your best friend and just talk nonstop for hours and hours?

Do that with your spouse, hangout together, go crazy and adventurous together, laugh together and share your deepest darkest secrets together.

Living away now with my husband in a new city away from both our home towns, made me understand the importance of sharing a deep genuine friendship with him, it keeps the relationship alive, it makes it more interesting and gives it a profound level of connection.

2- Be simple

Don’t over complicate things, because the simple fact is- you fell in love with this person for so many reasons. Be always reminded of these reasons and make sure to mention them and compliment them for it every chance you get.

3- Be partners

A marriage is a lifetime partnership in everything. That’s freaking awesome! You have a lifetime companion to share your highs and lows with, to plan the future with, to have children and build a family with.

Wake up every morning with the intention of actually making your partnership a meaningful one and one that adds spirit and joy to your life.

4- Build love habits

What happens after marriage, is that most of the time people stop trying! stop trying to impress, to attract and to connect.

Relationships are a never-ending process of putting enough effort to keep that fire alive.

Dress up for your wife or husband, plan a date night, have a daily ritual and give each other enough time to make sure you both feel appreciated and loved.

5- Communicate always

Talk, talk and talk some more. Don’t expect the other person to know how you’re feeling if you don’t actually express your emotions. Be articulate and share your likes and dislikes every step of the way.

6- Be you

That is by far the most important quality in every relationship. Be with someone who brings out not only the best in you but the you, you simply adore.

Be with someone who appreciates your uniqueness and be appreciative of theirs in return.

Support each other and give each other enough space for you to live your creative freedom together as friends, partner, and lovers.

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
― C.G Jung

 

Peace & Love,

Sara Abiqwa