5 Simple Steps To Learn How To Speak Up

5 Simple Steps To Learn How To Speak Up

If you don’t speak up, no one will know what you want. It’s that simple!

You see that all the time in relationships, friendships, at work, and even with your own self. You don’t say what you really want and therefore you end up not getting it. 

What happens then is your wounded-self starts to fabricate stories. I am never heard, no one loves me, I am not good enough or strong enough, why does this keep happening to me, what’s wrong with me, and the list continues. 

We shift to self-blame and self-doubt and start living our victim story. 

This is dangerous for so many reasons; first of all, it’s all imaginary, which means it is not based on any facts and therefore it’s a dark hole that you can keep falling into forever because no fact will help you snap out of it. Second of all, this can become a habit, and your ego can actually start enjoying this victim role and adopt it in every life situation. 

But don’t worry, because there is a way out. Here’s my 5 simple steps to learn how to speak up:

  1. Know your values

What is important to you? What are the things that really move you? Or inspire you? Or simply make you happier and more relaxed? is it honesty, love, simplicity, freedom, joy, or health? By knowing what your priorities are, you will be able to know what you want in the first place. And that is definitely a good point to start.

2. Get the answer to why you don’t speak up

There is always a reason to why we do something, and that is either to feel something, or to avoid feeling it. So, what is it for you? If it the fear of judgment, or the need to fit in? by discovering why you do something it will be easier for you to work on it and change it. 

3. Practice with yourself

Start telling yourself what you want, how you like your day to be, what schedule do you want to be on, or what daily routine do you want to have. The way we deal with ourselves is usually the way we deal with others. Do you have boundaries with yourself? Do you respect your own values? Do you tell yourself what you want? Or do you just do whatever, whenever?

4. Start Saying ‘no’

A huge part of speaking up and saying what we want, is saying what we don’t want. And this takes me to my first point of knowing your values. Start saying no to anything that doesn’t match or respect your values. If you love health, then it’s okay to say no when someone offers you a brownie. Setting boundaries will give you more space in your life to do what you actually want to do. 

5. Understand the game of speaking up

Humans are creatures of communication, and that is the only way we know how to understand each other. If you don’t speak up and share your wants and needs, how do you expect others to know them? It’s impossible! By speaking up you will help yourself have healthier, stronger relationships. The kind of relationships that not only respect your values but also allow you to feel comfortable defending them.

“A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That’s why they don’t get what they want.” 

-Madonna

Peace & Love,

Sara

Featured image is by Unsplash

We Were Wrong All this Time

We Were Wrong All this Time

The pursuit of happiness should be the pursuit of the self.

What I’ve noticed lately from everyone I work with, or from anyone who approaches me for advice is that people are disconnected from their true self.

I’ve noticed that because I was that! (still in the process if knowing myself fully)

I was a stranger to my own self! And, sadly, that is how people are operating in the world we live in right now. People are losing touch with the soul of who they are, what they stand for, what they like, what they don’t like, how they behave and the way they think.

We no longer know what is important, because our priorities are all messed up.

What we think is important is nothing but an illusion… the new bag, the fancy car, the big house. This will never bring us fulfillment. (although they are all nice to have, don’t get me wrong!).

But, what I’m trying to say here is that the ego is taking over, we are surrendering to the dogmas of faith and society, disregarding our deepest and purest virtues.

We are prioritizing material over experience, we are collectors and consumers, we are trying to fill a void that can never be filled with things. Remember, we are spiritual beings in a material world, and as spirits we need freedom, we need self-expression and we need love. 

This is what will alter the fate of humanity, what will elevate human relationships and what will provide infinite fulfillment.

We are boundless and yet we treat ourselves as bounded beings, we always say how are ‘have to’ and how ‘we don’t have the choice’. But guess what? we do!

We always have the choice to get to know ourselves better and to take time of every day to know what is important, we have the choice to react in a certain way, to think in a certain and to behave in a certain way. We also have the choice to be free, to choose freely and to express ourselves fully.

Self-expression is the celebration of self-knowledge, it’s putting the common sense to practice, it’s respecting your own set of beliefs and it’s the courage of showing the world who you truly are.

By knowing ourselves, we will be liberated, we will thrive and grow like never before and we will see the horizon of infinite possibilities.

“He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.”
-Lao Tzu

Peace & Love,

Sara

 

The 5 Ultimate Self-Destruction Habits Of Humankind

The 5 Ultimate Self-Destruction Habits Of Humankind

That moment when you wake up!

You thought it means to wake up from sleep, didn’t you? 

Well, it doesn’t!

I’m talking about a different level of waking up… the moment you open our eyes and see yourself, for the first time. 

We are usually the one person who is standing between us and our dreams, and here is how we do it… 

The 5 ultimate self- destruction habits of humankind:

1-  Oblivion, 

Not asking yourself the most important questions in life: 

Who am I? Why am I here? And what do I stand for? 

These three questions, if answered, will change your life. Have you ever started a relationship with someone before you actually got to know them, I hope not! 

The exact same thing happens here, you can’t start building a relationship with yourself if you don’t really know who you are, what your goals are in life and what are the main values you live by. 

2- Self- doubt

That is one creepy monster! You don’t feel it’s coming and then suddenly you see it in front of you and get too scared to even move. 

Self doubt is paralyzing, it will forever keep you in your place because you don’t believe in yourself enough to take any step. 

It’s that voice inside your head that tells you: you are not ready, you don’t have it in you, and maybe it’s not for you. 

So, keep an eye out for this monster and have enough faith in yourself that when you see it you have the courage to say no I do have it in me and I will do it.

3- Comfort Zone

This is more like the friend you don’t really want to have. The friend that tells you it’s okay to just go out and party every night when you’re twenty-nine, just because you used to do that when you were eighteen and life was going perfectly fine. 

But life changes, and you want to change with it. The higher the wave, the better your surfing skills ought to be. 

So step out of your comfort zone, do things that scare you sometimes, raise your own bar, learn and new skill, watch yourself grow and cheer on. 

4- Distraction

We live in a time where peace and quiet is a luxury. It’s like you’re trying to make a conversation with someone in the middle of a crowd. Will you be able to listen to them? Of course not!

That is where we are now, we are always trying to get our own attention, but we can’t even listen to ourselves anymore. There is just so much noise around us; the noise of a busy life, of a demanding job, of our thoughts about our busy life and our demanding job.

Our attention span is becoming shorter and shorter because we’re getting used to what’s quick and easy.

But the question is, how will we ever know who we are if we’re never really there with ourselves anymore.

5- Just Being Mean

That is when you choose to be mean to yourself, to be harsh on yourself and to beat yourself up. 

Why didn’t I do well in that meeting? I look too fat! I’m too thin! I wish had long hair! My hair looked better short! I’m never going to make it! Who do I think I am! 

I can literally go on forever…

How will your car be if you kept treating it like crap? It will break down! And probably way sooner than expected. 

We are exactly the same, we will break down at a certain point if we keep mistreating ourselves. 

Self love is compassion, it’s support, it’s looking at yourself and saying thank you! You did your best today and that was awesome.

It’s patting yourself on the back after a long day, it’s saying I love you for who you are and for what I want you to be. 

Self love is being full of yourself enough to be able to give, to share and to attract what you want in your life and not what you need. 

“No one is you, and that is your superpower

Peace & Love,

Sara

 

 

 

My Top Tips To Survive The First Five

My Top Tips To Survive The First Five

It all started when I was Twenty-one years old, on a mountaintop in Jordan, after a three-hour conversation on a bench under the sun. I thought to myself:” he is really something else!”

The chemistry was insane, our hearts met in a place that was only ours.

And then, seven months later we were engaged, and a year after we tied the knot. Oh wait, did I mention that it was all long distance, with the both of us living in separate in countries stealing three days a month to be with each other. Was that easy? HELL NO!

But we made it happen because that is what you do when you’re in love, you make things happen.

And now, five years later we are still making it happen.

Today is our anniversary and my gift to you on this day is my top tips on how to survive the first five.

1-      Don’t forget the important things

Keep reminding yourself of all the reasons why you fell in love in the first place. What you love about your partner and what was it that made your heart jump and your stomach tickle.

By doing this you will re-live those moments as if they’re happening right now, it will be as if you are meeting each other for the first time over and over. HOW COOL IS THAT!

2-      Look at each other through a love lens

Keep a fresh eye to notice the things that you simply adore in your partner. The way they helped an elderly woman on a staircase in Istanbul (true story by the way), the way they look for you as soon as they get home (again, true), and the way they smile when they first wake up in the morning (also true).

And then, tell them that. Just pick a random moment in your day, look them in the eye, and ask: “Do you know what I love about you?”

3-      Focus on the small things

People fall into the mistake of thinking that the moment we get married is the moment we stop putting effort. Because why put effort if we already have them, right?!

Well, actually it’s not. It’s the effort we put after we get married that counts. The small things we pay attention to, the romantic date nights, the wild trips, an unexpected gift, a walk on the beach together or cooking their favorite meal.

So, pick a day in each week and ask your partner: “what do you feel like doing tonight?” and then do that full heartedly.

4-      Have an open line of communication

This might be the most sacred time in our relationship, the time we discuss literally everything about our life. It’s not about our jobs or about our house, it about us. Where we are now in our life together and where do we want to go. Our future plans together, our passions and dreams. The vision we have for a perfect life and our retirement plan.

Communication is the superhero of relationships, it’s the main force that can heal anything and anyone.

So, keep that line of connection open at all times, and hey, there is no such thing as something that is not worth communicating.

 5-      Lift each other up

Listen to your partner’s dreams and passions, support them in following their bliss and never ever underestimate their ideas.

Be each other’s support system and always hold a space of love for your partner to go wild with their thoughts. Basically, be their high and never their low.

 6-      Be different, Be you

Marriage is not about dependency, marriage is about individuality. It’s about two happily independent souls coming together in something that is so holy.

To make a marriage work, be you, never compromise on that and never want your partner to compromise on the same. Bring your true selves to each other every day, be friends and lovers and create a beautiful life that is uniquely you.

These are my tips for you to not only survive the first five but to survive a lifetime of passion, affection, wildness, joy, and love.

“Where there is love there is life.”

– Mahatma Gandhi

 

Peace & Love,

Sara

 

 

What Was Osho’s Crazy Dream?

What Was Osho’s Crazy Dream?

Osho’s vision was to establish an entire city of conscious people. That by itself is a revelation!

To have such a great vision is by itself a very admirable quality. It shows that a man’s limit is his or her dreams.

Let’s dream big, let’s all dream of a better world to live in and of an awakened humanity where self-responsibility is one of its main virtues.

One awakened individual at a time will result in a more conscious race, one that understands the value of life and the meaning of living.

We are all unique but we are all one.

Peace & Love,

Sara

#shareconsciousness #experiencehumanity #dreambig #awakening #humanrace #mindful #fullpotential #onestepatatime #life #vision #influence #inspiration

It’s Very Exciting!

Connection is the word, love is the feeling!

When you let go and surrender to the love of the universe, you feel the purest kind of connection with all that is around you, and most importantly with yourself. 

You will start the journey of transformation becoming more #you by the day. 

I can’t describe the feeling but I can say that it’s a blessing. It generates a sense of love like no other. You start seeing life differently- the cop of coffee you have smells better, the sky looks more beautiful and your relationships become smoother.

You unleash your inner divinity and embrace the beauty that life has to offer. No day is normal and no activity is mundane, it’s pure #joy. 

So, let go and know that the #universe_has_your_back. ♥️

Peace & Love, 

Sara

#connection #love #joy #transendence #divinity #innergod #purity #beauty #transformation #beyou #unleashed #nolayers #authenticity #life #faith #happiness #mylife #myst

This Is The #DEADSEA

I’ve been here for the past couple of days, and all I can think about is how different this place is. The Dead Sea is the only sea that doesn’t have any living creatures. Yet, looking at it, it looks so peaceful, fully content with who it is. Loving all that is different about it.

This is what makes it special, what makes it sexy and what makes it who it is. A destination that people want to go to from all over the world.

I felt a deep connection to it, two beings, fully aware of their differences. I’m different too and I always felt different, but I spent years and years trying to fit in and blend in.

But you know what? No more! I want to own my differences and try to fit out. Be only me and no one else.

Self love is the act of choosing to fit out, knowing that you are imperfectly perfect.

Peace & Love,

Sara

#perfectlyimperfect #deadsea #jordan #beyou #unique #humanexperience #connection #nature #being #livelovelaugh #awareness #consciousness