It all started when I was Twenty-one years old, on a mountaintop in Jordan, after a three-hour conversation on a bench under the sun. I thought to myself:” he is really something else!”
The chemistry was insane, our hearts met in a place that was only ours.
And then, seven months later we were engaged, and a year after we tied the knot. Oh wait, did I mention that it was all long distance, with the both of us living in separate in countries stealing three days a month to be with each other. Was that easy? HELL NO!
But we made it happen because that is what you do when you’re in love, you make things happen.
And now, five years later we are still making it happen.
Today is our anniversary and my gift to you on this day is my top tips on how to survive the first five.
1- Don’t forget the important things
Keep reminding yourself of all the reasons why you fell in love in the first place. What you love about your partner and what was it that made your heart jump and your stomach tickle.
By doing this you will re-live those moments as if they’re happening right now, it will be as if you are meeting each other for the first time over and over. HOW COOL IS THAT!
2- Look at each other through a love lens
Keep a fresh eye to notice the things that you simply adore in your partner. The way they helped an elderly woman on a staircase in Istanbul (true story by the way), the way they look for you as soon as they get home (again, true), and the way they smile when they first wake up in the morning (also true).
And then, tell them that. Just pick a random moment in your day, look them in the eye, and ask: “Do you know what I love about you?”
3- Focus on the small things
People fall into the mistake of thinking that the moment we get married is the moment we stop putting effort. Because why put effort if we already have them, right?!
Well, actually it’s not. It’s the effort we put after we get married that counts. The small things we pay attention to, the romantic date nights, the wild trips, an unexpected gift, a walk on the beach together or cooking their favorite meal.
So, pick a day in each week and ask your partner: “what do you feel like doing tonight?” and then do that full heartedly.
4- Have an open line of communication
This might be the most sacred time in our relationship, the time we discuss literally everything about our life. It’s not about our jobs or about our house, it about us. Where we are now in our life together and where do we want to go. Our future plans together, our passions and dreams. The vision we have for a perfect life and our retirement plan.
Communication is the superhero of relationships, it’s the main force that can heal anything and anyone.
So, keep that line of connection open at all times, and hey, there is no such thing as something that is not worth communicating.
5- Lift each other up
Listen to your partner’s dreams and passions, support them in following their bliss and never ever underestimate their ideas.
Be each other’s support system and always hold a space of love for your partner to go wild with their thoughts. Basically, be their high and never their low.
6- Be different, Be you
Marriage is not about dependency, marriage is about individuality. It’s about two happily independent souls coming together in something that is so holy.
To make a marriage work, be you, never compromise on that and never want your partner to compromise on the same. Bring your true selves to each other every day, be friends and lovers and create a beautiful life that is uniquely you.
These are my tips for you to not only survive the first five but to survive a lifetime of passion, affection, wildness, joy, and love.
“Where there is love there is life.”
– Mahatma Gandhi
Peace & Love,