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Humans are continuously evolving, growing and changing. Their minds today are nothing like they were ten years ago, what they see as possible now was a complete impossibility, or even madness at some point.

People were killed for practicing witchcraft, for simply showing an interest in science and scientific experiments!

We are not the same as we were before, and will never be the same as we are now.

So why do we, after we get married, assume that what used to please our partner will continue to do so for decades? or that the lifestyle we led in our first or second year of marriage shall continue for decades? or that the mind of our partner or their interests are and will always be the same?

We stop getting to know each other and, in my opinion, this is the death recipe for any relationship.

Because what happens is, along any marriage, both partners will continue to grow, grow new interests, develop new hobbies, adopt new thinking patterns or beliefs, or even change certain characteristics or lifestyle habits.

Imagine living in your house and using only one room while the rest of the house is being renovated, you will one day leave that room and not recognize your own house! it will look different, smell different and feel different.

This is what we usually do in our relationships, we stay stuck in the same routines, same conversations, putting the same amount of effort over and over again and then one day we wake up and not recognize our partners, or even recognize who we are in this relationship. We start to feel emotional distance, coldness and lack of interest and enthusiasm.

What happened is you simply grew apart, you are not to blame, he is not to blame, you are both to be blamed… why? because it takes two to tango.

To avoid that communicate, communicate, communicate, because by sharing your thoughts, visions, interests and feelings deeply and openly with your partner, you will be more understanding of where you both are now in your lives.

Make sure you involve each other enough to always feel that you are part of one larger picture of a happy life that you are both working towards building together.

Always treat each other as priority, make sure your needs are well taken care of as well as giving the utmost care, love and attention to your partner. Go out on date nights together, workout together or start a hobby together.

This one might sound a bit contradicting, but it’s also important to give each other enough space to succeed in your own thing, this will elevate your mental state as well as your partner’s mental state and make you miss each other and make spending time together something you look forward to as your reward.

Always remember that it’s never about the huge things, it’s about the small things that build the bigger picture.

“A successful marriage is falling in love over and over again, with the same person”

– Mignon McLaughlin

 

Peace & Love,

Sara Abiqwa

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